Stuff!

 
I miss George Carlin. No, this isn't a brain short-circuit moment---I do have plenty of those---but I'm going somewhere with this. You'll see.

Yesterday on Capitol Hill, the chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, told lawmakers that the “risk of a protracted slowdown” merited the introduction of new measures to help individual Americans gain access to credit. In Joe-the-Plumberspeak, basically Bernanke is thinking heavily of sending out another round of "stimulus checks." ("Cheques" for our Canadian readers). Mr. Bernanke, however, did not specify the size or scope of any plan.

From the effects of last spring's actions, I can safely say that, while I greatly appreciate "free money" from the soon-to-be Marxist/Communist/European Socialist government, I am extremely leery and pessimistic that this second round of band-aids will jump start the frozen credit market. Never mind Wall Street yesterday; the Fatcats-That-Be who control that whole racket are such knee-jerk reactionaries, they make Appollo's Chariot at Busch Gardens feel like a smoove, groovy ride in an El Dorado (does anyone drive Caddys anymore?).

A non-scientific, personal survey of (Joe Sixpack) friends and family who reveled in their newly-received cash infusion last May, indicated that none of the recipients actually paid down their debts or mortgage principal, but instead...bought more stuff. This went against widely-reported, disappointing results. The Treasury Department indicated that no positive movement had been seen in the economy as a result of the stimulus package because most people used the money (unwisely!) to pay for gas and food. But not the people I know. They did their patriotic bit. They got their flat screens, Wii or Playstation game systems, clothes, Ipods, Iphones. Stuff! This is exactly what the current administration banked on in its attempt to prevent the total economic collapse of the last couple of weeks: send the constituency money so it can trickle down the booty, thus resuscitating the retail sector. Some did that. But not enough. You see the Carlin tie-in now? Fine, here it is.

Yes, yes y'all; The Great American Way: when in trouble, spend more on Chinese-made shit and fuggetabout it. Everything is beautiful. And so, round 2: ding, ding.

The outgoing, lame-duck administration is under the gun to do more to help the economy. The Treasury Department, meanwhile, hopes to spur a new round of mergers among banks by steering some of the money in its $250 billion rescue package to banks that are willing to buy weaker rivals, according to government officials.

From the New York Times: While these efforts may provide some relief, the concern is that it may take time before they have a major impact on the economy. Loans are likely to remain scarce for many small businesses and consumers.

Credit is unlikely to flow freely soon, said Max Bublitz, chief strategist at SCM Advisors, an investment firm in San Francisco. “It’s going to be doled out in small pieces over the next few months,” he said.

Since the collapse of Lehman Brothers in mid-September, the credit markets entered a state of near paralysis, keeping many businesses and municipalities from obtaining financing.

For now, market watchers can celebrate that credit is being given out at all. Interest rates on common types of commercial paper — basically short-term I.O.U.s issued by businesses — fell to a four-month low. Joy!

But until we all get back on track, hell, I'll take another few hundred if they're doling it out. I am one hundred percent committed to do my bit for this country. There's a killer Macbook Pro I've had my eyes on for a year now. The hell with my fiscal responsibilities. Bring it, Ben!