Sunday NumbNuts Roundup

 
(update on Bishop Richard Williamson)
There were two finalists for "Scariest Audio Tape" this week: Christian Bale's f-bomb tirade against an unsuspecting DP, and Dick Cheney's frightening expostulations against the new administration, claiming an upcoming NUKULAR 9/11.

I'll forgive the former in lieu of the fact that Bale is a moron, a bad actor, and a general Hollywood "glitterati" squash-head type with not much credence or anything of impact/import to say. The winner then is old Darth Cheney who, it seems, is relentless in his brainwashing, fear-inducing tactics, even out of office. Unless this man accidentally shoots himself in the chest with buckshot during his next duck-hunting trip, he should be deemed irrelevant and no longer make the news.

The "Worst Parental Judgment" category also has two candidates: Nadya Suleman, whose 14 children still somehow manage to exacerbate the loneliness that lies deep in her heart, and the irresponsible, idiotic father who decided to post on YouTube a video of his drugged-up (from the dentist) 7-year-old son.

This one goes out to Ms. Suleyman, who--at 33 years of age--is still living with her mother and on welfare. The momo who thinks his son's drug-induced mutterings are worthy of humiliating him before millions, at least only has one life to potentially fuck up. Ms. Suleyman, on the other hand, has herself an entire roster to a basketball team.

And lastly, the "In Need of Racial Sensitivity Training" category is hotly contested by Miley Cyrus, Bishop Richard Williamson, and Florida Republican Carol Carter, who sent around an email questioning how "2,000,000 blacks get into Washington, D.C. in 1 day in sub zero temps when 200,000 couldn't get out of New Orleans in 85 degree temps with four days notice"?

And the winners are...ALL THREE OF THEM, the lousy cockroaches. What better cast of characters to have than this lot of idiots: a teenage queen-entertainer, a preacher, and a politician. Sounds like the making of a great joke, no? And it is.