Not Quite a Lame Duck Yet

 


Hey, you got to at least give it to the man; he's leaving office with his reflexes sharp as hell. I mean, it took less than a second for Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zaidi to hurl his weapons of locomotion at our man's head, but Señor Jorge came out unscathed. True, on the second try (the right shoe?) Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki intervened and blocked the projectile (we used to call that a Yo Mama moment on the playground), but the first duck was Bush all by himself. There's a good joke in here about the outgoing Prez being used to successfully dodging flying shite and various other detritus flung in his direction, but I'll leave that to the commenters (commentators?).

As the recipient of many a flying shoe in my boyhood, I am somewhat jealous. Slippers, galoshes, boots, and even wooden clogs were Mummy's weapon of choice as I was growing up and frequently pissing her off. To my defense, however, she always chose to pelt me with these missiles while my back was turned, but still. I should've heard them coming--if thrown with enough passion (and believe you me, they were), those things whistle through the air like Nazi .88s. I'm still envious, though. But I suppose if you're launching objects at a former baseball team owner you're bound to miss here and there. I mean you know Georgie took at least a couple of batting practice sessions with the Rangers, during the time he co-owned them.

Apparently White House Press Secretary Dana Perino may have suffered a black eye in the wake of the shoe-throwing incident. "Politico" is reporting that Ms. Perino was injured by a microphone in the ensuing melee.

This makes the inner, repressed 5th Grader in me giddy. I don't know, as a former TV audio guy there's something about being whacked upside yo' head with a flying mic that makes me laugh. That and seeing people slip on ice. I know, I know! I am striving to be more compassionate, more empathetic, a better human being, but I have been a Pavlov's dog for too long. Suppressing my idiotic, childish impulses has been a hard struggle. But I ain't giving up. No sir.